I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
