what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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