I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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