I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
