She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
