So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
