i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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