Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She needs sedatives and a leash
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
