ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
