jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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