Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
