Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
