i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
