We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
