I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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