I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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