I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
