Don't you send me to vm
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
