Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
