I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
