She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
