I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize