I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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