they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
