we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
