i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
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