I didn't shave. On purpose
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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