He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
