my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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