shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Send help, water and tortillas.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
