Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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