Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
