it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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