Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
She said her name was "party"
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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