The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
