THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
