I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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