i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Randomize
