Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
