Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize