Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
