My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
