Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
