when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
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I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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