Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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