oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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