can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
