they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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