If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
handjob tips. give me some.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Are my feet made of real feet?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
