trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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