if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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