Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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