dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
