Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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