He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
