I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The beer is more important than you right now.
She bit a glass in half.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
