I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I have fence marks all over my body
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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