The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
