What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
It's never too late to be topless.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
