I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
