i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
