Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
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I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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