so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
