yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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