I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
