I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize