trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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