sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize