Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
